Happy Saturday! - Hope you have a great weekend!
If there's one thing most people can agree on, it's that life lately has been stressful. Everyone's lives have undergone massive change as a direct result of the coronavirus pandemic and its ensuing restrictions, and perhaps none more so than relationships with friends, family, and partners.
It hasn't been easy, and emotions have been running high. But, while anxiety, loneliness, and sadness might be expected to creep in at a time like this, Stylist magazine notes that other difficult emotions like irritability and even anger can crop up, too.
These aren't the easiest feelings to manage because they are very often directed at others. So, even though you might miss the people you can't see or understand that those you live with are going through the same things you are, it can be hard to get a handle on your frustration when they press your buttons. There's a reason for that, though.
As Sarah Rozenthuler, a chartered psychologist and the author of How to Have Meaningful Conversations: 7 Strategies for Talking About What Matters, explains, "specific threats in a social situation affect our ability to interact productively."
She says that these threats, for example, when you feel someone is insulting or leaving you out, simulate similar brain networks to those triggered when your primary survival needs are threatened. This activates your limbic system, "which houses our emotional reactions." This seeks to minimize the perceived threat "by avoiding a person or situation, or by attacking back."
This, unfortunately, is an unconscious reaction and one that is fairly easily triggered, as Rozenthuler says that your limbic system "is more tuned to threats than rewards." As a result, your ability to respond rationally or fairly is inhibited, making it all the more likely you will say or do something you regret.
But there are ways to ensure you don't let confrontation get the better of you, and acknowledging the stressors that trigger that threat response is one of them.
According to David Rock of the NeuroLeadership Institute, there are five "key social threats that act as potential stressors." These include having your competence undermined, feeling as though you're being micro-managed, and believing a situation to be unfair.
So, as Rozenthuler explains, "recognizing these trigger points for what they are – threats to our social standing – helps us to manage how we deal with our "fight or flight" response kicking in."
What this means is that, by taking note of the things that tip you over the edge, you become more able to take stock of the situation, see it for what it is, and "remind yourself that there is no overt threat to your wellbeing or safety," says Rozenthuler.
She recognizes that this is easier said than done, though, and that "re-engaging our 'thinking brain' when our 'emotional brain has hijacked it'" takes time and practice to get right. If you're a bit lost for where to start, you can try creating a brief pause when you find yourself amid a heated conversation or situation. Rozenthuler says, "taking a couple of deep breaths, counting to ten or getting a glass of water generates a 'moment of choice,'" which "enables us to consciously choose what to do or say next."
Put this into practice, and you could be on track to have far more productive conversations with the people you care about rather than destructive confrontations. As Rozenthuler says, "no matter how provocative or perturbing someone else's comments or behaviors are, we can learn to manage our triggers."
I found this article very interesting. In our store, we work on treating everybody with compassion and kindness, and we appreciate it when others do the same to us as well. I find that if I'm upset, sometimes it is good to go on a walk, shoot some baskets, or do some exercise, which helps me to feel better as well. Here is to treating everybody with kindness and respect!
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend!
Matt Capell & Capell Team
Capell Flooring and Interiors
Office 208-288-0151 call or text us
P.S. Here is joke for you....
I lost an argument about my posture.
I stand corrected.